Hello! My name is Hilary and my spouse is in his second year of medical school. We have a two year old son and are expecting our second child in a couple of days. Someone once told me that there is never a convenient time to have a child because having and raising a baby takes a lot of hard work and sacrifice, but also comes with insurmountable joy. I definitely can relate to that, especially when your partner is in medical school which demands a great deal of time and effort from them. With this, my husband and I have had to focus and work on our communication so that we know each other’s needs better. This has allowed us to stay on the same page, be more support of each other, and not become resentful.
At my first RVU-SU event last year, I was shocked at how many students had children and were about to have babies. This helped relieve some of my stress with having my own baby and raising a family. It was nice to know that a good amount of students were starting families or already parents during their medical journey and to see that it was possible. While my husband has attended RVU-SU, I have been surrounded by incredible spouses and partners who have become some of my closest friends and strong support system. By having this awesome support group, I’ve had friends host the cutest baby shower for me, offer to bring my family meals, pack our freezer with food, and watch my toddler so I can catch up on sleep. One tip I would suggest is allowing your friends to help, even if accepting help is difficult, because they truly want to be of assistance and it gives you less things to worry about during such a big transition in your life.
We’ve also had the support of the school and they’ve been awesome to work with. At first I was nervous that if my husband had a test while I was in labor then he would miss the birth of our child. We heard from our friends who had babies and the school to inform them of the situation and that my husband can make up the test later. We also made the plan that though my spouse will be at the hospital with me, he will still need to study for most of the time I am in labor. This will then allow him to have more time to spend with the baby once the they are here. Also, with this being our second child we were able to schedule to be induced a week early so that we could work it around his school schedule.
Having a baby in medical school definitely isn’t easy but it is manageable and so worth it for us.
-Hilary Orme